how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
