i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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