What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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