I think my vagina is haunted
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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