Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
