Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
