Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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