Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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