the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Someone stole a lamp last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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