we made out on top of his cat.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
