Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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