No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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