I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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