Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
