i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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