i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
