I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
