i would punch a child for taco bell
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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