Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
where does the pee come out of this thing
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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