Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
