we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
