We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
