and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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