btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize