I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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