How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
