How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
