She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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