I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
