just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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