doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
