if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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