ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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