She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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