I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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