11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
