i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
