So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
