How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
