how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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