quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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