y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
