god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
