be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
