hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
