Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
