I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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