I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i think i have herpe
just one?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
