I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
