living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Please don't give away my fajitas
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