uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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