We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
