If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
