i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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