Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize