She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize