I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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