Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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