the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
